Eureka’s All Sports (Does not includes All Sports)

Let’s start with some good ol’ Windows 95 action.

Here we have a PC game entitled “Eureka’s All Sports”  the title is a little ambiguous, as it alludes to having every sport ever made included, however what it actually means is that all the games in this package happen to be sport games although even this is not strictly true, but more on that topic later.

Now I believe the company “Eureka” who published this excellent compilation also released a whole bunch of shareware games in the early 90’s as well as a few of their own shitty games.  So I can probably take an educated guess and say these particular games are 100% full of computer code.

The front of the box claims “Twelve times the action” so I assume that there are 12 “All Sport” games in this lovely box, let’s take a look at the included games shall we?

*Howzat Cricket 98 – I think I’d rather stick with Super International Cricket on the Super NES

*Five Basketball Games – A crummy looking Basketball game with no actual basketball games, just 5 “mini” games (Horse, Around the World, 3 Point Shootout, Sweat Boy and Hot Shot) on a side note, does this count as 5 games?

*Top Tennis – Apparently in this world, everything is green, including the players, net and umpire.  Pass

*Four Baseball Games – Same things as Basketball Games, no actual baseball games, just more average sleep inducing mini games.

* Fungo Fielding & Sign Calling – This game I take issue with, is sign calling an actual sport? The title on the box states “All Sports” packaging would not lie to me, would it?  It’s a game where you learn about signs in what I guess is baseball.  Exciting.

*Hooves of Thunder – Is this like Days of Thunder but with horses? because that would be awesome.  Apparently the horses in this game “become 1,200 pounds of Frothing Fury” as they make a mad dash for the wire(?) This one is okay, but only because there are so few horse racing games around.

So we have established that the games are the typical shovel ware of the time (and that there are actually 13 times the action including Fungo), but my main gripe with this title is the ridiculous box.

Take a look at this thing, it’s like 3 DVD cases high and as thick as a Tom Clancy novel.  Maybe they include a cricket back or basketball in the packaging.

Nope, just two compact discs, an instruction booklet and a registration card.

Seriously, there are no shelves in my entire house I can put this on, even my bookshelf is not tall enough to house this monstrosity, the weirdest thing is the fact it has a hang tab.  I seriously can not fathom where in a store this would have hung.

Anyway, the games stink, the packaging sucks, but it does make a nice piece of hanging art.